There’s really nothing like the fear leading up to an impending opthamologist appointment. About a week before the date, I start having random moments of freakishness where I may start thinking that my eyeballs have stopped working. I wig out when my BG hits anything more than 140, and I convince myself that some Really. Bad. News. is inevitable. I try to remember to breathe, not always successfully.
So last week when I went to my first appointment with new Dr. D-Eyeballs, I was a bit of a mess. Perfectly normal. I asked for a referral from my relatively new Dr. WonderfulEndo, whom I love, so I had hope that Dr. D-Eyeballs would also be wonderful. I was also prepared for massive disappointment and eyeball crisis. It’s just easier to be ready.
In the last 31 years I’ve had opthamologist Dr. Crappy-s who have asked me if I’ve “been good” to my eyes. Ones that berated me for whatever my last HbA1c was. Ones who tried to scare me with horror stories of retinopathy, glaucoma, macular degeneration, and other complications in people with type 1 diabetes. And then there were the ones who didn’t even ask about my type 1. Admittedly, I have a narrow range of acceptable and appropriate statements that opthamologists could say to me without sending me over the edge. But I’ve heard the entire gamut of possibilities, most of them terrible.
Not my new Dr. D-Eyeballs! She’s totally ah-may-zing. She’s the clinical research director for the practice, brilliant, and informed/respectful/totally competent re: type 1 eyes. I’m so thankful when I get the opportunity to see a good medical provider, and she is one.
Cut to the great news from last week’s appointment: No retinopathy, no other d-eye problems. After more than 3 decades with D.
It’s hard for me to believe. I wanted to ask the doctor if she was absolutely sure. Really? Not one little blip? Even under the extra magnification? Are you SURE?! I kept waiting for the “BUT…”
Not this time.